a problem delayed is a problem denied.

but, once again,
what is problem anyway.

bukan lezat

mata ini melihat bungkus merah,
berpita panas,

kotaknya terbuka,
isinya coklat indah,
sayangnya dilidah sama saja.

you

The all missunderstanding between us,
is what I missed about.

words

words are words,
since passion get its place.

lips over lips,

words are words,
until last with lust.

e-novel !

my e-novel with Lishia Erza. Xx.

bus komunal

normalnya aku ketinggalan bus komunal budaya.
tetapi,
seperti kata budaya,
bentuk sendiri saja budaya.

normalnya sekarang,
aku tidak akan ketinggalan bus usia.

busku bagus,
lagipula nyaman.

lebih baik kutunggu saja sembari menyesap kopi dan membaca buku.


'budaya menikah yang kuperbarui usianya'

bilik nafsu

nafsunya kali ini seakan menampar dada.

tak terkira hebatnya hingga betapa kata "tidak akan"
dapat berubah menjadi "akan".

telanjangnya kali ini tak sekadarnya.


'malam'

I'm sufficient

HAPPINESS is about being TRULLY SUFFICIENT :

when you are alone without feeling lonely,
when you are jobless without feeling meaningless,
when you are single without longing for lover,
when you are in a relationship without feeling single,
when you are no-money without feeling poor,
when you are a dream catcher without feeling as a loser,
when you are in argument without feeling hartred,
when you are sad without feeling despair,
when you are in love with someone without too much thinking.

: I'm proud to say that I am sufficient :
I'm ridicilous, silly, witty, stupid, yet I'm a trully happy survivor.

It's time for the red

Not the first,
perhaps the best.

"The things you can recall is only the black and white in your life,
the dot black has to be gone and the white sheed has to be filled,
I'm putting my red's and my grey's, always."

Not the most beautiful moment,
perhaps the strongest time.

"My red has been there,
my grey always follows it."

Not the greatest lust ever,
perhaps the most notion passion ever.

"I can't erase the red, it's in there
but I can change the grey, it's in here."

It's me who is always here with the grey,
and looking for the red.
Now it's time for the red.

"It's time for the red."

Happy Honeymoon !!

a few days ago I recevied a gift from my best friend who lives so far away from my place... thanks for the gift ! ;-) (finally i write something - again - about you in this blog).

Honeymoon with my brother...
A story of Wisner who get dumped by his gf just before their wedding vow ! Sad ? surely but it push him to go into the opposite direction of his life he finds his life... :-)

Honeymoon.
What is honeymoon ?

vacation with our significant other, make love, have fun, and finally loving more more to each other.

so, there are 3 points has to be there :
1. significant other
2. vacation
3. love

really ????
is it true that someone who is single and happy can't have a honeymoon ?? damn, poor me then. :-)

then again,
I have those 3 points :
1. vacation plan
2. love myself
3. significant other = friends, life, family and myself.

Honeymoon for single ? ABSOLUTELY !!

and the result is I can love myself more and more !! ;-)
well, my other friend will say that this writing is sooo womanish ! but yeah...

honeymoon with ourselves isn't about "a me time..."
honeymoon is when you go far beyond from your routine for a quite sometimes...
do amazing thing, makes you laugh, makes you happy and have a good moment here and there... and for a while you are born again to be someone that you are willing to be.

then, my last honeymoon would be....
my last trip to Singapore !! and the best honeymoon trip I've ever been is...hmmm, Australia in 2008... :-)

so, where is my next honeymoon destination ??
hmmm...hard to tell but I'm opened to any opportunities :-)

HAPPY HONEYMOON !!

cherio,
Sekar

doa malam ini

ijinkan lembar berikutnya akan terpampang senyum,
ijinkan judul halamannya merah hati,
dan
ijinkan catatan kakinya akan bahagia.

tulus.

selalu (lagi)

sudah kutetapkan.

tujuh hari seminggu,
selalu.
tidak hanya pekan lalu atau pekan depan.

selamat pagi,
selamat siang,
selamat malam.
selalu.
tidak hanya hari kemarin atau hari besok.

sudah kutetapkan.
selalu.

tak terelakkan

jika orang bilang rindu itu tak bikin jenuh.
ah,
seratus persen tak terelakkan.

jentik-jentik didada.
kecil,
berirama,
seperti dentum kecil dan kunang-kunang pembawa cahaya.

terbang kian kemari.
seperti tak ada arah.

kecil,
berirama,
ah,
seratus persen tak terelakkan.

tetap (selalu), pintaku.

bagiku,
kamu seperti kotak kado yang berpita merah,
yang belum kubuka.

diatasnya tertulis, memang untukku.

manis,
menyenangkan,
bahagia.

belum kubuka.
belum kubuka (takut).
belum kubuka (takut tak suka).
belum kubuka (takut perih).


kamu seperti kotak kado yang berpita merah.
menawan.
tapi belum ingin kubuka.

biarlah tetap (selalu) tertulis untukku.

Hallo my X'mas Whislist ! Welcome my Feb' Whislist !!

My Christmas whislist :

1. Le noir pump Jimmy Choo and the YSL bag. (COMPENSATED BY A GREAT WATCH!)
2. A new home in January (CHECKED !! MORE THAN BEAUTIFUL HOME)
3. A great time in Singapore for new year's with old and new friends. (CHECKED !! AN AWESOME HOLIDAY !!)
4. A lovely X'mas dinner with family (CHECKED !! ;-) SUPERBE LA DINNE)
5. The last : My man (WILL REPLY ON THIS NEXT WEEK !) ;-)

*not too much to ask !*

MY FEBRUARY WHISLIST :
1. A new "home" in February
2. A great super project yet challenging


* really this is not too much to ask! *

here and there

it was,
too good,
too match,
too dangerously beautiful.

it is,
too nice,
too bad,
too amazingly stunned.

now,
too flat.

later,
crossing finger.

gubahan tanpa judul

kamu;
peta dunia dengan penanda hijau dimana saja.
kotak pagoda yang berisi neraca bahagia.
teka-teki silang yang kehabisan kata sedihnya.

dengan cepat,
kau tancap kota yang menyala,
huruf hidup,
dan kata bahagia,
untukku.

aku menanti (lagi) saat terjaga dengan rasa menyala.

*Singapore, NYE'10*

The Christmas Whislist

My Christmas whislist :

1. Le noir pump Jimmy Choo and the YSL bag.
2. A new home in January
3. A great time in Singapore for new year's with old and new friends.
4. A lovely X'mas dinner with family
5. The last : My man

*not too much to ask !*

menyesap candu

sekali lagi aku tersontak dengan satu kata " candu "
dan,
sekali lagi aku mendongak melihat sosok dan terbersit satu " aku mencandumu "

seperti rokok yang buruk tapi tetap ku sesap.
seperti coklat yang buat gigi busuk tapi tetap ku kunyah.
seperti sepatu berhak sembilan sentimeter yang tetap kugunakan hanya karena aku merasa seksi karenanya.

dan,
seperti itulah aku mencandumu.

dan,
kau mencanduku seperti yang kau ucap padaku.

karena setiap kali menyesap rokok, coklat tak bersisa dan berjalan dengan hak sembilan sentimeter, aku merasa bersenggama denganmu.

Seperti yang kau selalu bilang padaku " setiap kujauh, aku ingin bersenggama denganmu"

Aku mencandumu seperti kau mencanduku.

enchanting perfection

Lyra smiles when enter the lounge.
Sitting in this corner, always get the good feeling. Surrounding by crowd and people.
“Lyra come here !” Canting shout to me.
“Yeah I’m coming darling. What’s the new things ? Where’s Banyu?”
“Hmmm to Bangkok this time. The new thing ? Besides we still don’t agree yet we will married or not? No. Only we love each other. Stop talking about me Lyra, how’s in your side? Find an interesting imperfection lately?”
“Well working in a famous magazine in the world, doesn’t mean you find love easily hei Canting”
“Shut up, drink this first!” Canting offers Lyra the JD on the rocks.
“Find one here Lyra, you should relax for a while, with a man for sure after your last lousy relationship with the bastard.”
“Only two types of guy in this world darling the bastard and the gay one, and I gladly found the bastard.”

Suddenly Lyra caught an interesting imperfection. A sad interesting imperfection actually. A guy is kissing a girl in the opposite of the corner. A very lusty kiss with the hooker. A splendid view with a delightful creature.

“Oh Lyra not again, you are too much in love with a risk. Kevin is not a good guy.”
“Do you ever believe there’s a good guy in this world? Well except Banyu because he will die soon.”

The view so excites her. The bastard and the hooker.
Lyra loves trouble or she can’t avoid trouble.

==

“ Nice view I’ve got here since then” Lyra shaking the glass and speaking loud to Kevin ears.
“ Haha, thanks ! many found the same also.”
“ Really ? Can do it again then.” Lyra said to him while put the hooker near her.
“ Surely!”

==
“ Nice view again?” Kevin asked Lyra.
“ It’s ok. Lyra.” While shaking Kevin hands.
“ Kevin”
“ I know, my friend Canting told me about you” she is pointing to Canting
“ Ah ! Not a good thing I guess”
“ Certainly not Sir. Cheers ? “
“ Cheers ! “

==
“ Lyra, I can see you already know Kevin” Canting is approaching to Lyra and Kevin.
Lyra and Kevin look at each other and say “ with the good view”
“ Don’t get too drowned to each other. You both are much in love with trouble”
“ Lyra is in love with trouble ? Hmm interesting.”
“ No Kevin, I’m not in love with trouble it’s only my guilty pleasure. You ? “
“ An enchanting perfection, it's my guilty pleasure also“

My Journey of Dreams !

I want to write some of my achievement which has nothing to do with prizes.

Learning Neuro Linguistic Programme with Krishnamurti was such an amazing process for me. I know that I can change my life like the way I want through life learning with him. Then after deliberately used it, I know at that time I want :
1. Study Overseas in Europe with my own money or scholarship
2. Have my own psychological consultant
3. Have experiences to manage a national event
4. To be a collumnist
5. Have experience to be choosen as one of the candidates in magazine's contest what-so-ever.

and,voila !
1. I've got twice scholarship and able to go to Holland for study in 2005 & 2007. Yes indeed only for diploma programma but I'm able to do it by myself...not because of my parents or my boyfriend or my husband money.

2. Yes !! I've built my own office... under the name Personal Growth Center,you can open the web at www.personalgrowthcenter.wordpress.com. It was my dream to have my own office before 30 years old. Bloody hard but Damn Good !!

3. Believe it or not, I manage 2 national event that was held only in 1 week difference ! First as a chairperson in National Rotaract District Conference 2008 - Rotary Club and second as chairperson in Career Expo Central Java. Yes, I wanted to dissapear at that time because it was so hard to do it in the same time. Luckily I have a lot of great people behind me.

4. Still not having a superb achievement but yes I write in some magz and tabloid these days. Above all, I want to write in a national magz. Wish me luck !

5. Unbelievable experiences... I've be choosen as a semi finalist for fun fearless female cosmopolitan magazine 2009. I'm not becoming the finalist is because I know exactly I was so lame in interview section ! hahahaha, in front of those famous people, I'm just so terrified but indeed it was a great experience !!


My NEXT JOURNEY OF DREAMS : just wait, I'll reveal if it's coming true...

Reality Bites series 1

I will start a fact with not necessary fact with a cruel comment about it.

Fact 1.
I'm only 5'4 inch average with 1,64 m.

Fact 2.
I love dogs and I really hate people who hates dogs.
The fact that I love dogs makes me really judge people and avoid people who hates dogs. Pardonez-moi, but the attitude of being.."hiiii...ohhh, i'm so afraid of the dog" really make me itchy and want to slap them. Stand still, they won't bite anyway. Afterall, you eat their meat if it serves in the table !

Fact 3.
I don't like driving but I have to drive by myself. That's why these days I limit the frequent of driving.

Fact 4.
I love to hang out with my close friend. For me, there are 3 level of friend : a friend - a good friend and a close friend. A best friend ? It's only for my mom and my man.

Fact 5.
You will never believe in me, but I'm really open minded yet thrilling to do a new adventure ! such as what ? you'll never guess about it.

Fact 6.
I love sexy stuff. I mean sexy...it's sexy.

Fact 7.
I love ice-tea. I have to drink that once in a day. Not any ice-tea, a homemade ice-tea.

Fact 8.
Writting is my pleasure, though I don't have much time these days. If you caught me writting then that's the moment I can make love with life.

Fact 9.
I found myself not a musical person(though I learn to play piano since I was kids), not able to play any instrument, and not able to sing. I like to hear people play, sing or create a music but never ask me to do so.

Fact 10.
I don't like conflict. You'll find me rarely have a fight or a conflict. Some says it's really hard to make me angry. But yes, If I already feel insulted, I will act nicely then I will stab your life in front of your face and then I go away. Then be aware of me.


10 Fact for series 1 is enough ! I will continue again for the next round.

better ?

teriakanku seperti tak terdengar...lagi.
mungkin,

better not to yell nor to hail.
better not to say nor to ask.

mataku mendadak memejam...lagi.
mungkin,

better not to see
better not to try to see.

telingaku tak mampu menangkap secuil irama...lagi.
mungkin,

better not hear,
not to listen,
not be ever...never...catch the voice.

sampai kapan ?

status

statusku berubah.
bukan single,
bukan in a relationship,
bukan engaged,
atau
married.

statusku berubah.
status : in a flat moment !

muak !

rasanya sudah separuh jalan ku baca buku lama ini,
sepertinya halaman yang ada tak kunjung usai,
dan cerita semakin saja membosankan !

rasanya setiap larik kata yang tertuang, membuatku muntah !
rasanya setiap jejak pen yang pernah menancap, membuatku menganga !
rasanya setiap jemari yang pernah ku sesapkan untuk membalik, membuatku ingin menusuk !

cerita yang memuakkan !