e-novel !

my e-novel with Lishia Erza. Xx.

I'm sufficient

HAPPINESS is about being TRULLY SUFFICIENT :

when you are alone without feeling lonely,
when you are jobless without feeling meaningless,
when you are single without longing for lover,
when you are in a relationship without feeling single,
when you are no-money without feeling poor,
when you are a dream catcher without feeling as a loser,
when you are in argument without feeling hartred,
when you are sad without feeling despair,
when you are in love with someone without too much thinking.

: I'm proud to say that I am sufficient :
I'm ridicilous, silly, witty, stupid, yet I'm a trully happy survivor.

Happy Honeymoon !!

a few days ago I recevied a gift from my best friend who lives so far away from my place... thanks for the gift ! ;-) (finally i write something - again - about you in this blog).

Honeymoon with my brother...
A story of Wisner who get dumped by his gf just before their wedding vow ! Sad ? surely but it push him to go into the opposite direction of his life he finds his life... :-)

Honeymoon.
What is honeymoon ?

vacation with our significant other, make love, have fun, and finally loving more more to each other.

so, there are 3 points has to be there :
1. significant other
2. vacation
3. love

really ????
is it true that someone who is single and happy can't have a honeymoon ?? damn, poor me then. :-)

then again,
I have those 3 points :
1. vacation plan
2. love myself
3. significant other = friends, life, family and myself.

Honeymoon for single ? ABSOLUTELY !!

and the result is I can love myself more and more !! ;-)
well, my other friend will say that this writing is sooo womanish ! but yeah...

honeymoon with ourselves isn't about "a me time..."
honeymoon is when you go far beyond from your routine for a quite sometimes...
do amazing thing, makes you laugh, makes you happy and have a good moment here and there... and for a while you are born again to be someone that you are willing to be.

then, my last honeymoon would be....
my last trip to Singapore !! and the best honeymoon trip I've ever been is...hmmm, Australia in 2008... :-)

so, where is my next honeymoon destination ??
hmmm...hard to tell but I'm opened to any opportunities :-)

HAPPY HONEYMOON !!

cherio,
Sekar

The Christmas Whislist

My Christmas whislist :

1. Le noir pump Jimmy Choo and the YSL bag.
2. A new home in January
3. A great time in Singapore for new year's with old and new friends.
4. A lovely X'mas dinner with family
5. The last : My man

*not too much to ask !*

enchanting perfection

Lyra smiles when enter the lounge.
Sitting in this corner, always get the good feeling. Surrounding by crowd and people.
“Lyra come here !” Canting shout to me.
“Yeah I’m coming darling. What’s the new things ? Where’s Banyu?”
“Hmmm to Bangkok this time. The new thing ? Besides we still don’t agree yet we will married or not? No. Only we love each other. Stop talking about me Lyra, how’s in your side? Find an interesting imperfection lately?”
“Well working in a famous magazine in the world, doesn’t mean you find love easily hei Canting”
“Shut up, drink this first!” Canting offers Lyra the JD on the rocks.
“Find one here Lyra, you should relax for a while, with a man for sure after your last lousy relationship with the bastard.”
“Only two types of guy in this world darling the bastard and the gay one, and I gladly found the bastard.”

Suddenly Lyra caught an interesting imperfection. A sad interesting imperfection actually. A guy is kissing a girl in the opposite of the corner. A very lusty kiss with the hooker. A splendid view with a delightful creature.

“Oh Lyra not again, you are too much in love with a risk. Kevin is not a good guy.”
“Do you ever believe there’s a good guy in this world? Well except Banyu because he will die soon.”

The view so excites her. The bastard and the hooker.
Lyra loves trouble or she can’t avoid trouble.

==

“ Nice view I’ve got here since then” Lyra shaking the glass and speaking loud to Kevin ears.
“ Haha, thanks ! many found the same also.”
“ Really ? Can do it again then.” Lyra said to him while put the hooker near her.
“ Surely!”

==
“ Nice view again?” Kevin asked Lyra.
“ It’s ok. Lyra.” While shaking Kevin hands.
“ Kevin”
“ I know, my friend Canting told me about you” she is pointing to Canting
“ Ah ! Not a good thing I guess”
“ Certainly not Sir. Cheers ? “
“ Cheers ! “

==
“ Lyra, I can see you already know Kevin” Canting is approaching to Lyra and Kevin.
Lyra and Kevin look at each other and say “ with the good view”
“ Don’t get too drowned to each other. You both are much in love with trouble”
“ Lyra is in love with trouble ? Hmm interesting.”
“ No Kevin, I’m not in love with trouble it’s only my guilty pleasure. You ? “
“ An enchanting perfection, it's my guilty pleasure also“

My Journey of Dreams !

I want to write some of my achievement which has nothing to do with prizes.

Learning Neuro Linguistic Programme with Krishnamurti was such an amazing process for me. I know that I can change my life like the way I want through life learning with him. Then after deliberately used it, I know at that time I want :
1. Study Overseas in Europe with my own money or scholarship
2. Have my own psychological consultant
3. Have experiences to manage a national event
4. To be a collumnist
5. Have experience to be choosen as one of the candidates in magazine's contest what-so-ever.

and,voila !
1. I've got twice scholarship and able to go to Holland for study in 2005 & 2007. Yes indeed only for diploma programma but I'm able to do it by myself...not because of my parents or my boyfriend or my husband money.

2. Yes !! I've built my own office... under the name Personal Growth Center,you can open the web at www.personalgrowthcenter.wordpress.com. It was my dream to have my own office before 30 years old. Bloody hard but Damn Good !!

3. Believe it or not, I manage 2 national event that was held only in 1 week difference ! First as a chairperson in National Rotaract District Conference 2008 - Rotary Club and second as chairperson in Career Expo Central Java. Yes, I wanted to dissapear at that time because it was so hard to do it in the same time. Luckily I have a lot of great people behind me.

4. Still not having a superb achievement but yes I write in some magz and tabloid these days. Above all, I want to write in a national magz. Wish me luck !

5. Unbelievable experiences... I've be choosen as a semi finalist for fun fearless female cosmopolitan magazine 2009. I'm not becoming the finalist is because I know exactly I was so lame in interview section ! hahahaha, in front of those famous people, I'm just so terrified but indeed it was a great experience !!


My NEXT JOURNEY OF DREAMS : just wait, I'll reveal if it's coming true...

Reality Bites series 1

I will start a fact with not necessary fact with a cruel comment about it.

Fact 1.
I'm only 5'4 inch average with 1,64 m.

Fact 2.
I love dogs and I really hate people who hates dogs.
The fact that I love dogs makes me really judge people and avoid people who hates dogs. Pardonez-moi, but the attitude of being.."hiiii...ohhh, i'm so afraid of the dog" really make me itchy and want to slap them. Stand still, they won't bite anyway. Afterall, you eat their meat if it serves in the table !

Fact 3.
I don't like driving but I have to drive by myself. That's why these days I limit the frequent of driving.

Fact 4.
I love to hang out with my close friend. For me, there are 3 level of friend : a friend - a good friend and a close friend. A best friend ? It's only for my mom and my man.

Fact 5.
You will never believe in me, but I'm really open minded yet thrilling to do a new adventure ! such as what ? you'll never guess about it.

Fact 6.
I love sexy stuff. I mean sexy...it's sexy.

Fact 7.
I love ice-tea. I have to drink that once in a day. Not any ice-tea, a homemade ice-tea.

Fact 8.
Writting is my pleasure, though I don't have much time these days. If you caught me writting then that's the moment I can make love with life.

Fact 9.
I found myself not a musical person(though I learn to play piano since I was kids), not able to play any instrument, and not able to sing. I like to hear people play, sing or create a music but never ask me to do so.

Fact 10.
I don't like conflict. You'll find me rarely have a fight or a conflict. Some says it's really hard to make me angry. But yes, If I already feel insulted, I will act nicely then I will stab your life in front of your face and then I go away. Then be aware of me.


10 Fact for series 1 is enough ! I will continue again for the next round.

I'm in love with life !

Entah sang waktu ingin berkenalan denganku,
atau aku yang ingin menggodanya.

Setiap ku membuka mata,
ada ritmis tajam berdegup,
getar berpola dalam jemari tanganku,
rasanya ingin mengayun dan berlari,
mencoba untuk memperkenalkan diri pada sang waktu.

Rasanya tak tahan bila harus tertinggal.
Rasanya tak tahan bila saat akan terlelap merasa jauh darinya.

Entah sang waktu ingin memecutku,
atau aku yang ingin membuatnya terpana.

Kali ini,
aku jatuh terpana.
bahwa sang waktu sangat berkuasa.

Sentilannya membuatku tersuruk,
Raihannya tak kuasa melepas tawa.

Sepanjang aku bernafas,
ia selalu menyentil, meraih dan membelalakkan mataku,
bahwa,
hanya satu yang kupunya,
Sang Waktu !

tak penting hari kemarin atau hari esok,
sang waktu saat ini yang dapat kupegang, ku gunakan, dan akhirnya ku buang sebagai masa lalu.

Entah sang waktu ingin mengenalku,
atau aku sangat memujanya, hingga selalu merasa klimaks setiap dapat membuangnya sebagai masa lalu dan mendapatkannya sebagai masa sekarang.

Entah,
aku terlalu jauh cinta padanya, karena ia memberiku hidup dan membuatku hidup !


( di meja kantor, sembari menyadari bahwa sekarang aku membutuhkan lecutan keberanian indah untuk semakin hidup, Selasa - 16.20 )

rindu. titik.

aku benci merindukanmu,
seperti saat aku sendiri di kantor dan hanya menghadap laptop,
dengan hati meraung meminta isi darimu.

aku masih saja merasa rindu,
seperti berteriak dengan suara empat oktaf,
kemudian merasa bahwa teriakan tak mampu juga mencapai klimaks menemuimu.

ah, aku malas merindumu,
seperti bertubi-tubi mendapat pekerjaan tambahan yang menyenangkan namun tak tahu kapan selesai.

aku rindu kamu titik.
seperti empat hari ini serasa empat minggu dengan menit berjalan empat detik lebih lama dan hitungan waktu serasa memusuhiku.

titik. rindu. titik.

Chaos yet Passion

A man, is a boy and a boys will be boys
Who are always having pleasure to drag anything fun and pretty.

And there will always be a little girl inside women.
Who are always trying to attract many men and make him adore her.

A man, always want to be admired and to be obeyed.
Woman always want to be adored and to be loved.

Women are fun and pretty.
Men are attractive as can be.

Together they are,
There will be lust, passion, and respect yet multi chaos.

"the goddamn lucky bastard"

What is anyway those title means ?

Is it applied when we get what we want ( off course ) and if we doesn't get what we want then we can't call ourselve "the goddamn lucky bastard" ?.

Perhaps you just "the goddamn lucky bastard" by not getting what you want because you just might be stronger than you know and you deserve better ! Universe will compile to give you what you want..if you really want to !

Then next problem will reveal, if I already get what I want then it turned that "what I want" is not exactly "what I want"... (it might happen not like what we expect).

Oh, then should that tag still applied on us -the goddamn lucky bastard-.

Ah! Perhaps what you get is exactly what you need not what you want, and someday it will turn to be what you want. (confusing hah!).

talking about life and all those sanity inside, all those hope inside, all those sacrificing and all those happiness, is a never ending story !


What I hope now is,
regarding to financial crisis (plizz make euro not more than 10,000 IDR and the moron UU Pornography,
I just wish I always can wake up in the morning by knowing that I'm surronded by love, passion, respect and also lust ! = )

regards,
sekar

sesuatu yang aneh tapi indah

pernah ga ngerasain senengnya dapet hadiah ?

terus habis itu, bosen ?

pernah kan !


pernah ga ngerasain dapet hadiah yang gak begitu loe pengen ?

terus habis itu, ternyata loe seneng dapet hadiah itu ?

pernah juga kan !


pernah ga dapet hadiah yang loe gak pengen ?

terus, ternyata emang loe gak pengen ?

pastinya pernah !


nah, kalo loe dapet sesuatu yang loe gak gitu pengen,

dan ternyata loe akhirnya butuh itu,

dan akhirnya loe sadar bahwa sesuatu itu berarti buat loe,

dan loe pengen jaga agar tetep indah ?

pernah ?


nah, gw kayakna ngerasain itu deh.

perasaan yang aneh dan lucu tapi gw seneng.

stupid cheating conclusion!

“He is cheating on me”
Why?
“Huaaa, why you ask?”
curiousity, sighh...
“With her assistant, ahhh, I should know it”
Hei, you are cheating also, rite? Why you are being mad at him?
“But he is cheating on me.”
But you are cheating also.
“But he doesn’t know if I’m cheating on him”
Hmmm, does it make you could be mad at him?
“Off course!! Because I know.”
If he knows that you are cheating also, then?
“Hmmm, I could tell that I do it because he did it first”
But you do it before he is cheating on you
“Yeah. Does it make me like a b#**h?"
Nope. Perhaps. Hmmm,,,
“Why?”
Is there anyone in this world ever be really really faithfull in his/her relationship? Why cheating seems like a sin from hell?
“Make sense.”
Well, cheating happen for a reason.
“Such as?”
When you are in a relationship, you want both of you could play a different role everytime. In one time, you want your partner to be your lover, then perhaps sometime you want him to be a big brother, next time, both of you in a same portion as a discussion partner, hmm,, and then he could see you also as his trully best friend.
“………” (Confused)
Perhaps just perhaps, when he thinks that you are his best friend that is the time when he thinks he could be cheating. Because you are just his friend. Stupid conclusion yeah?
“Yeah, so stupid.”
I know. Lets just ditch the one nite stand and get settled.

postpone the death

These couple of days my friend feeling not healthy. He feels that he is going to die.

Mark: dear, my dear,,, im going to die.
Me: stupid.
Mark: yeah, but i think im going to die.
Me: sigh. Coz of what?
Mark: thinking of you.
Me: have u already taken your med?
Mark: you are my med.
Me: now i think im the one who is going to die.
Mark: how come.
Me: coz you punch me in the heart. i cant breath now.
Mark: oh dear. You know u still not loving me back. It makes me sick.
Me: so die lah. You told me that many times.
Mark:...........
Me: Ok then, if you gonna die, I wish that God would give you the best sit in heaven.
Mark:............
Me: already die now?
Mark:.............
Me: dont forget to bring your cellphone, to tell me whether you already safely arrived in heaven or not,,,and if you can’t call me then send me a sms or email me. hei, already die? Seriously?
Mark:.......
Me: hmmm,,, ok, then dont forget to remember our beautiful time together,,,
Mark:........
Me: Mark,,,i think im gonna miss you,,, dont leave me.
Mark: think im not going to die.
Me: why?
Mark: I postpone it because you dont want me to leave you. I could die at anytime but think i have to wait till you love me back...
Me: yeah, I already told angel of death if someone named Mark come, plizzzz reject him and send him back to earth.
Mark: i know exactly that you would be feeling so lonely if im not around. You need me la.
Me: stupid but rite.

...you never know

She asked me sumthin funny but though kinda tickle me “how do I know that he is someone that I really want?”

Fyuihhh, darling, you are asked to the wrong person, I’m still single and still though don’t find any delicate soul to feed my long lost soul. Why you asked anyways?

Sist, you know there is someone that always brings you back and it never takes too long?

Yeah, then?

Argh, why I never feel so in love to him? Why sometime he makes something better better so bad, or makes me happy and sad at the same time.

So, what do you want, sist?

Don’t have any idea.

Ah, then you have to find it first. After you find what you want, you can come back to me and complain about him.

I really want to know what I want. How?

How? You are the only one who know, if you don’t, save it to the never new year resolution. There is only one solution here. Love! Fall in love is just the starter. After you love him, you will find out, there is no so happy nor so sad. Everything just happened like it used to be, and you will find that both of you are in the perfect fit.

Sist, you still though give me insight. Yeah. I should try it first yeah.

Off course. Never judge him anyways. You are not a perfect person, also. Me, whuaaaa, me, never ask me. i know what i want but he still doesn't know what he wants.

Sist, you know exactly what he wants. A perfect life! Meaning, wealthy, wealthy, and about woman? hmmm, he has plenty. he he he.

He he. or could be just not woman, man also. Who knows. In one part, you already find a great man but you don’t know whether he is the one or not, well for me that is not a big issues anyways. And in the other part, though I know what I want, I’m still here, standing tall, no solution.

Lemme repeat, my question again “how do I know that he is someone that I really want?”

The answer is “you never know”.
====================================================================
Because you just know how you feel and if you start willing to make him happy and smile that is the sign that you are falling in love. Then, if you feel there is no happy nor no sad, but everything seems in perfect fit, that is the sign that you find a delicate soul to fill your long lost soul.

To whom I wrote this, you always have “home” in me.

Anonymous Inspiration

As long as I become a regular customer here, I hardly see her. Now, almost at above 9pm, she is there. Sitting in the corner, with her laptop and some books, off course with a cup of espresso. Sometime alone, sometime with some fren, she seems doesn’t care with anything goes around. She looks tired but she kinda feels comfort with the situation. She is definitely a writer. I saw her picture in a magz a few weeks ago. I like her writing; about politics but she writes it in a funny, sarcastic ways.
All I know is her name, Canting. Javanesse name. Sophisticated name just like the way she is. She is tended to be a quiet woman. I’ve never seen her dominating the conversation, she likes to be an observer and busy with her laptop.
Standing across her, in the bar, all I can do just finding a moment to see her smoking her cigarette. I love the way she do it, so intens. I can make every girl to be mine but with her, I have no idea. She’s different. I always feel a bit intimidated when she is staring at me with her look “go to hell”. I think she hates me, but I don’t know why. She’s just the way she is. I don’t know whether she is smart but not pretty or she is not smart but pretty or I just scared that there is someone who is smart and pretty. She’s so perfect with all her imperfection.
Canting, I think I’m starting to feel the butterfly in my stomach.

============================================================

I never like this place. It’s too crowded.
It was a month ago, my friend persuaded me to come. He said “Come on Canting, now is time to move. Don’t you feel a bit bored; always do the writing in this place?”. Yeah, you rite. Let’s move then.
So, here I’am, always sitting in the corner, waiting my friend to come for meeting, networking, or just sitting with me, they do the talking and I’m just listening, like always. In a sudden, my eye had caught an interesting imperfection. Arrogant, a bit cassanova, absolutely an alcoholic, simply a lonely guy, with different girl everytime he comes in. I always find pleasure when I caught his eyes staring at me. That is the time I can give a look “you are nothing”. I always hate someone who thinks he is simply irresistible because he has money, he has company, he has the look and he definitely doesn’t have manner. I’ve ever heard his friend call his name “Banyu”. Banyu, he is simply annoying me, everytime he comes with different girl, and he just keep drinking and flirting, just makes me sick.

“I think you are starting to like him” Anna, said to me.
“no way!.”

Well, no way or yes way. Perhaps she is rite. Now, everytime when I enter, he is the one that I’m looking for. If he is there, I’m definitely happy, strange isn’t it? Why is that? Is he something now?.

its matter

every time is moving.
every count will be disappearing.
every path has to be filled.

time always be a time,
days always be a days,
and that has never be changed.

but life remains changed.

as long as time give you enough time,
and days give you enough laugh,
and friends give you enough hands to hold,

it is time for eyes to see,
for ears to listen,
for lips to say,
for heart to stay to find what so called home.

the best yet to come but if the best come,
time won't give enough time to think,
and days won't give enough space to move.

just do it.

that's life.
cherish what we've already had.
and be gratefull on what we've been starting.

*First step always be the hardest step but keep continuing on our first step in every wish we had!!!*

Pak Lliard bikin bingung

(Obrolan dengan teman dekat tapi gak dekat....)

Suatu waktu ada yang bilang, menurut Baulliard “ media membuat realitas menjadi tidak obyektif, segala sesuatu menjadi tidak otentik.”

Lah, kok bisa? Media apa dulu nie?

Ya,menurut pak Lliard seh media apa saja, majalah remaja, majalah dewasa, majalah tanaman, koran kriminal, televisi, opo wae lah, getooo...ndeso men seh gak ngerti.

Lah, ikut ngubrul-ngubrul gini dengan sampeyan ya baru ini kok. Njelehi men tho!

Piye, jadi gak nie tak ceramahi? Jadi yo, mumpung aku lagi panas ni.

(dididik sebagai priyayi jawa yang pantang untuk menolak seseorang yang memelas) yo wes...tak ngrungok’ke...

begini lho jeng... kita ini gak ada yang otentik, semua bentukan dari media.
Coba bayangkan ya, dari kecil kita sudah dijejali beragam media yang mengatur bahwa seseorang dikata cantik kalo begini begitu...

Contohnya piye jeng? Yen ceramah ki seng jelas...

Ya contohnya...kamu kan dari kecil udah tahu mana yang cantik mana yang gak dari mana tho?

Dari mataku sendiri tho...lha po dari matamu? Khekekekeke

Ngawur!!
Dari yang terdekat, ibumu.... pendapat ibu bisa dibentuk dari media yang menggembar gemborkan bahwa cantik adalah yang “putih, tinggi, langsing, dll”. Diinget-inget tho...pas kecil kan mesthi kamu dikasih tunjuk...”cantik ya mbaknya...bersih kulitnya terus cantik ya soalna bla bla bla....” hayah!!

Bener juga... (sambil manggut-manggut sepertinya mikir tapi ya cuma basa-basi)

Kamu tidak akan lepas dari media sepanjang hidupmu...
Mbok yo arep menyepi pun, kamu tidak bisa lepas dari efek media yang pernah kamu baca.
Ini tidak hanya fashion. Hampir semua pendapat terlampir dengan jelas di media. Pagi-pagi kita baca koran, isinya kan ya itu pendapat tho, pendapat jurnalisnya, pendapat yang ngomong, lah terus obyektifnya dimana?

Ya dimana ya? Sek sek...ya obyektif dong, wong semua dipampang disitu, baik yang pendapatnya sok pinter atau yang pendapatnya disertai penelitian yang valid. Iyo ra? (mulai gak basa-basi)

Bener, bener... media mempengaruhi cara kita berpikir. Itu bagus, memberikan kita pencerahan jeng, memberikan kita sudut pandang lain, nah itu yang dibilang Baulliard “media membuat realitas menjadi tidak obyektif, segala sesuatu menjadi tidak otentik.”

Piye tho kui? Ra mudeng.

Jadi secara tidak sadar pemikiran kita sudah kurang obyektif dengan kata lain kita sering kali mengambil suatu kesimpulan berdasar dari pendapat “A” terus dari jurnalis “B” yang kemudian kita olah dengan rasa dan pikiran kita, nahhhh terus jadinya seolah-olah itu pendapat kita. Tetapi benernya itu sudah bentukan dari media-media yang kita baca, kita lihat dan kita resapi. Intinya, pemikiran kita ini sebenarnya sudah tidak otentik pemikiran kita sendiri. Otentitas itu sebenarnya tidak ada lagi. Toh kalau mau disebut bahwa hasil penggabungan dari beberapa pendapat dan kita simpulkan dan kita bentuk menjadi pendapat baru, boleh saja itu disebut obyektif dan otentik tetapi sudah tidak lagi utuh, bunder dan bulet.

Tapi tho jeng, itu juga bagus tho. Jadi media membantu kita untuk memahami dengan lebih luas, iya tho?

Lah iya...itu bener banget. Masalahnya bukan media itu bagus atau tidak. Hanya saja perlu disadari bahwa obyektifitas itu makin susah dicari dan otentitas semakin tidak original lagi.

Nah, terus obrolan tidak jelas kita ini obyektif atau tidak? Otentik atau tidak? (cerdas! seneng saya punya temen cerdas)

Yaaa jelassssss tidak!! Wong jelas-jelas kita mengobrol menggunakan pakemnya Baulliard.

Oh, bener-bener...sampeyan cerdas jeng.

Me versus "Me"

Today, yups today,,,it is raining all d time since yesterday. Gezzzzzzzz,,,I feel so bored when I woke this morning. Njizzzzzzz,,still wanted to sleep, sleep and sleep but have to work.
Then, here I come, sitting in my room, in front of laptop and starting to write all this crap.

Should I go or Should I stay?
That question keeps ringing in my mind. What if your heart says different with your thought? Which one u should pick then?
Should I go or Should I stay? Bloodyyyy hard to choose.

Perhaps some of you already know the reason why I came up with that question. For the rest who don’t know,,,please bear in my mind not to ask anything excapt reading this crap.

Should I go?
I prefer to go because there is nothing left. Perhaps it is still something left but i feel like it useless to keep anymore. If I go, would I be happy? If I go, would I be strong enough to leave all things behind? I would answer this question with I don’t have no idea.

Should I stay?
I choose to stay because I deserve a second chance. In what purpose? To be happy!. Definitely I could answer it. I want to be happy. It has been a while for me for not feeling the freedom to be happy. Well, there is an obstacle. If I choose to stay it means,,,I have to fight like “joan of arc” and I’ve got to win. The only option is I have to win this battle (if I could say this is a battle).

Between the sorrow and the willingness to be happy, it is hardly to choose.
Every option will be leaving consequences.

Should I go?
The only consequences is I will loose the best thing and perhaps,,,just perhaps,,,I will get another. Am I ready to loose the best thing?

Should I stay?
The situation will be so pathetic but yups, I will get the best thing that I really really want,,, Am I ready to fight?

Which one that I will choose?
With vodka in my right hand and accompanied by my very best friend,,, I will make up my mind and choose between should I stay or should I go. Wish me luck,,,and I hope just hope that I could choose the right one.

perfectly enchanted

Not morning nor evening,
Not things nor meetings.
Not giving nor wanting.
Not keeping nor resting.

Quote in love is not enough.
Words in care is not good enough.
Greetings is not warm enough.
Just showing with heart is enough.